I need help removing her.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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