It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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