just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
