We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
