med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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