I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I just forgot I was standing up.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
