i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize