Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
