I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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