is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
