I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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