It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
When are your genitals available?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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