Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
