I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
