I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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