Everything about him screamed your future.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
