i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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