I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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