my vag is so smooth its legendary
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
