I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
