I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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