3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
