Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
