We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize