i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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