Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Boobs speak an international language.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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