the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
