im drinking this country out of the recession.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
