are you so shy because you have an std?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
