How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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