Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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