Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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