hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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