Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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