i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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