Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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