i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
