I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
