I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
