White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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