The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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