Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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