you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
