you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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