Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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