Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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