youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
