Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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