3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
so explain again why im purple
no
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
