Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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