Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
