You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
