We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
