Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dear god my vagina.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
