He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
