508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
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A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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