I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
