I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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