Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
