bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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