The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
