My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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