I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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