I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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