My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
When did angry sex become our thing?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
