She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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